“I’m sorry but it looks like your child has…” most anyone reading this has either heard these words or knows someone who has. Do you remember the suffocating feeling you felt as those words stole your breath away?
Did you cry?
Maybe it was more of a scream?
Did your knees get weak, and did you hit the floor?
Maybe you immediately went into research mode and asked - “what can we do?” or “how do we fight this?”
Cancer – that dreaded word that affects way too many children has now come to your house. What a heavy, devastating diagnosis!
Then the fight begins. They place a central line, for us, it was a Broviac. Then a fine needle aspiration of the tumor was extracted. That tumor filled my little girl’s abdomen. Even before we knew what it ‘was’ for sure, they were bringing Chemo bags preparing for the fight of her life.
And fight we did… through the pain, nausea, blood transfusions, stem cell collection, dressing changes, shots, and all the hospital admissions. Our family life changed forever, and, in the end, we did not hear, “No evidence of disease.” No, we heard, “I’m sorry there is nothing else we can do.”
Again, gut-wrenching pain! We prayed and begged, we sought every option we could find, then we brought our little three-year-old daughter home on hospice. Each night as I rocked her little frame, I whispered, “Soon you will see, Jesus” and “In heaven, there is no more pain, no more cancer.” She once asked me if we could all go to heaven together. I had to tell her, “Mommy and Daddy will come soon.” That was heartbreaking. She was not scared, but I can only imagine what her little mind thought at the end of her life. Those last moments when we were blessing her and then whispering, “Run to Jesus, baby girl.”
You see, our family has hope that we will see our girl again in heaven. We know this life is only temporary and that someday we too will join her because of our faith in Jesus. As heartbreaking as it was to release her to heaven, that assurance is what keeps us moving ‘one day closer.’
During those final weeks on hospice, I wished that I knew what to say, how to reassure her. Because of my feelings of inadequacy in a horrific time, I wanted to empower other parents with a resource to help them talk about heaven with their children. This led me on a journey to write a book to change that!
“MILLIE FINDS HER MIRACLE”
"Millie Finds Her Miracle" is a children’s picture book that leads readers on Millie's journey as she searches everywhere for her miracle of healing. From her playground to the hospital, with people around the world praying - Millie finds her miracle in heaven.
This book is instrumental to children facing their own death, siblings seeing death, parents walking with their child through death, and the numerous caregivers who assist in the end-of-life process. Young children will love finding the butterfly hidden on each page and looking at the bright and simple illustrations.
As parents facing the horrors of cancer, I hope you never need to release your child back to heaven. I pray that your child finds healing and lives a long life. However, if you find yourself facing hospice as we did or if you find your child’s cancer friend facing hospice, I hope “Millie Finds Her Miracle” will give your child some assurance and your heart hope.
You can find more information on our website www.MilliesMiracle.net and on a brief video Millie Finds Her Miracle Trailer.
MEET COURTNEY MOUNT:
Courtney, wife, and mama to 9, became a grief writer after losing her 3-year-old daughter Millie to Neuroblastoma in July of 2020. Her heart is to connect with other grieving parents helping to normalize grief sharing, all the while pointing to her faith in Jesus. She does this by writing on her FB page @MilliesMiracle2020, for various organizations, and on www.MilliesMiracle.net.
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